eight

i wish i had Them... the Words, you know.

thinking of you. holding your hand, Fingers interlaced. internalizing every Moment, a clip to be replayed. not agonizing, merely acknowledging. kindness is the air of the hour. i am still in Awe.

letting in whatever comes along is the most vulnerable thing, the most Valuable thing. only i Know i am not the only one. Vulnerable... the most difficult thing i have ever attempted to be. everything about it is Terrifying. you know that though; you get me.

our Rhythm is perfect. unchanging, ever Changed.

i need the warmth and safety of your reverie.

so i need you a little bit. and that is freaky. in a good way like ghosties and spooks. its Halloween soon :)

no matter where i am, you bring me home.

i don't like being consistently reminded of mistakes i've made.
not what friends are supposed to do.

diplomatic is the air of the hour. could you please leave me a foot of space? not that i need it, i'll let you walk on me as much as you want as long as you don't mind me walking on your articles. call me back later? not that i really wanted to talk anyway. definitely not next year. conclusion: i still expect too much for most people.

as
dig
trees
returns
christopher
believability
hyperexcitability
dendrochronological

exhausted but ecstatic is the essence of the evening

monday.

Enthralled by life, I am consistently stumbling forward. Missing things, forgetting things, perpetuating my eternal existence as a misanthrope. And then I fall. Crashing clumsily into what I had visions of as a train wreck but is in actuality a light in the dark. Playfully wandering over sundrenched and broken concrete blocks, I am full of wonder. I have no idea where I will be, where anything will lie, or what the world will look like, but that pinpoint will be the passing of discord into concord amidst the changing harmony.

In pursuit of the faeries…

Compassion that you feel you deserve, unremittingly intolerant though you are yourself, will never be imminent. Unifying is no longer possible in such a ruinous state of affairs. Nothing makes me happier than to have a definite extinction of that air. Tonight you will not disrupt the order, you will not upset the balance, you will not challenge the orderly progression, you will not interfere in my reality, and you will not dislocate my power. You are one. I am unshackled. I am a liberated woman. I am capable and intend to move forward.

here i sit. imagination failing to let me linger where reality lies. blood like fire flares where mere rosiness was a moment before. fast forward a fortnight and it will all be just passed, but we know a lot can change in such a span. skin is the essence and intimacy is mathematical. i believe in numbers.